Monday, April 7, 2014

What Food Establishments Are the Left Boycotting Now?

The Left loves nothing better than a good boycott.  Especially an establishment that their refined palates would reject like a bad kidney.  Salon has offered up five fooderies that they say are run by people who support hyperscary right wing zealots.  Of course they put Mitt Romney in that category too, so take it with a grain of salt.

Here's the list:

1. Chick Fil A (of course)  Come on, Salon, surprise us.

2.  Carl's Jr./Hardees. When would a left winger ever set foot into the carnival for carnivores?  The air itself is probably too gluten saturated for them to enter without a mask.  This place has some of the thickest hamburgers piled high with the best toppings.  Then they add all kinds of other foods, such as giant colas and milkshakes, that Michelle Obama eats and forbids everyone else.

3.  Domino's Pizza.  Domino's Pizza sits right at average.  Good enough to eat if there, but nothing too special.  This is actually a step up from where they once were, which was south of Little Caesar's.  A good deal for feeding a lot of people who just want pizza.  

4.  White Castle.  Never been there, but people swear they're good.

5.  Waffle House.  Of course the Left hates Waffle House.  Nothing looks more All American than the Waffle House.  You can belly up to the counter, order a Coke or a coffee, and watch them scatter and smother your hash browns to your heart's content.  

They stay open always, even on Christmas.  Non Christians pile into Waffle House on Christmas Day, when even Denny's is closed.  Christmas night at the Waffle House is a true study in diversity, every race and religion represented, waiting to be served by the most capitalist of capitalists.  It's not like college diversity, which is really separatism.  It's honest to goodness American diversity.  People sitting cheek to jowl, interacting with waitresses who all call you "hon" regardless of age, gender, religion, or nationality.  They don't care who you are or where you came from, they just want to serve good old fashioned Southern food, make you happy, and get you on your way so someone else can sit down.

Waffle House is exactly what is great about America.  Which is exactly why the Left hates it.

It's not likely that a left wing boycott would make a dent in the profit margin of any of these fine businesses.  In fact, Chick Fil A actually sells more since its targeting by the Left.  None of these places are trendy, even in the anti-trendiness of hipster tastes.  Nothing in these places would appeal to left wingers in the first place. These restaurants' idea of "vegan" is scraping the animal product off of your plate if you complain, while quietly cussing you.  It would be almost as effective as threatening Ford with a boycott of their F 150s.

All Salon did was to help conservatives identify even more places to support with their business.  

Great job!

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